My name is Roxie Leavitt. I’m the woman who rolls into church in a wheelchair. I almost died recently from a blood infection. In the hospital God assured me I’m still alive because my work here on earth isn’t quite done yet.

I don’t have long to live, and I would like to share my life story and heart with you before I go to Heaven.

I grew up in an abusive home. I never really knew Jesus, so I never asked Him to help me. I drank and gambled to forget about the pain. I wasn’t the best wife to my husband, Wayne, because I only thought about myself. If I got mad, I would just leave. I knew God existed, but I was consumed by worldly things like decorating my house and keeping it clean.

A friend of mine invited me to a Bible study on Revelation. I was curious, so I went. It was the first time I had ever opened a Bible. 

It stirred a desire for more, and I told my friend I wanted what she had. She took me to the Wesleyan Church to meet with the pastor, and He led me to the Lord. I felt free and clean because all my sins were gone. I immediately went out and bought a Bible. I was so disappointed when I lost that good, clean feeling and fell into old, familiar sin.

My daughter, Jane, told us how much she loved New Life Church, and we started attending. I attended Jean and Derwin Dorale’s life group two times before Wayne and I got into a bad car accident. We were on our way back home from a Sioux Falls doctor’s appointment when we hit black ice. I could feel glass hitting me and flying all around me. Wayne was pinned, and I was afraid the car would start on fire. I tried to get to Wayne, but I couldn’t move. An EMT who was in the car behind us covered me up, and then I lost consciousness.

It took the accident to pull me back into right relationship with Jesus. The minute I woke up I knew Jesus was right there with me. I trusted Him and didn’t ever blame Him. What Satan meant for evil, God redeemed. He made a good thing out of a very tragic thing.

I was in the hospital for seven months. When I woke up, I could see Jesus watching over me. I remember having to go down for more surgery. I was scared and asked Jesus to come with me. I could feel Him right beside me on the gurney. He guided me all the way into surgery, and I wasn’t scared any more.

I had lots of trials in the hospital, and Jesus was there with me through each trial. From then on, I walked with Him. I wanted more of a relationship with Him. 

Sometimes you have to go through a lot of pain before you decide that you really want Jesus with you.

I saw many people in the hospital who could only move their head, and I was so thankful I could use my arms, hug people, write, paint and feed myself. I try to look at the blessings I do have and not the things I have lost. I grieved the pain of losing the use of my legs, but it has given me lots of time to pray and think and praise God.

I think my family grew because of the accident. They love each other more and don’t take anything for granted. I’m so thankful for such loving children. Jean and Derwin really helped me learn about the Bible and God’s love. I learned that God loves me no matter what sins I have committed. “Experiencing God” was my favorite study. I learned just how real God is … you can talk to Him and He talks back!

Please don’t wait to get to know Jesus until He’s all you have. 

Start talking to Him now and then listen. He wants to talk to you. He wants to give you hope. He wants to give you peace and the assurance that He is always with you. I have looked for love my whole life and finally found real love from God.

Every day my body gets more and more useless. My feet just turn and flop. My arms are getting weaker, and I can no longer paint. Turning pages is harder, but I can still write a bit on good days. Unbearable back and neck pain plague my days. The pills don’t stop the pain any more, so I cry, pray and hang on to the promise of Heaven.

I do not have answers to why this happened to me, but I have my Father’s presence. As long as I stay in His presence I can hang on. 

He is so sweet in the middle of the pain. Like Job, I can say to God, “My ears had heard of You, but now my eyes have seen You.” My suffering has helped me to learn to trust God for who He is and not for what He can do for me.

Last night I couldn’t sleep, so I listened to Christian CDs and talked to God. The devil tried to break my concentration with fears and lies. I told him to leave and to be quiet. He knows I belong to Jesus, so he had to leave. My favorite Bible verse is Isaiah 40:31: 

“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles…they shall run and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint.”

Please don’t blame your pain on God. Keep loving Him no matter what happens. He is the only one who can help you with your pain. God has been right here with me the whole time. God showed me that I didn’t deserve the accident. It wasn’t punishment for my sin. He showed me He loved me. Whenever I was scared, he held my hand and He was right next to me. Keep your mind and heart on Jesus.

I am so anxious to be able to go home. It’s getting closer. If you could see me after I die you would see a great big smile because I’ll be with Jesus. I will be walking and cooking and holding a newborn baby. I want to be able to take care of all those babies that nobody wanted and aborted.

Once while praying, God gave me a beautiful picture of Heaven that I often remember when I’m having a bad day. I was laughing and running with brand-new beautiful legs through a field of daisies to meet Jesus. He was looking at me with love, and He laughed as he watched me running on my brand-new legs. I cling to what the Bible tells me about Heaven. I’m going to get rid of this broken body and get a beautiful new one. The road will be made out of gold, and there will be jewels everywhere. I will be given a crown that I will lay at the feet of Jesus. The bad things of this world, including pain, sorrow, evil, loneliness, depression, sickness and fear will not touch me in Heaven.

Someone once told me that earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal. I can only imagine.